RIC's words

"dear james. i really do wanted to go up and say hi and wish u happy bday yesterday. but at a point there is reallywill be awkward for both of u and nic. no matterwat it is i cant promise u how long i can handle this but like i told u b4, i will do wat i am supposed to and everything will be back to point one. no matter wat i really wish u well and happy birthday"

"no matter wat i will make everything in place at well for him b4 i walk out. dun worry. ths i would promise u. everything in his life would be well when the days comes. in all aspects. there won't be anything that he need to worry anymore."

"james, it's not about moving on or not. no matter how it really will feel unless u call urself not human.u wan me to be happy. i wan u to be happy too. i hope u understand my stand for u. i really we both can be happy from the inner self. i know we can do it"

" a great morning to a busy u, keep on smiling"

"another beautiful day, surely you got tired but gonna be back home. smile my dear fren"

"i do not know how can i really express my gratitude and emotions that spending time talking and sharing ideas. will miss u a lot bro... from my heart. i am glad to know u. really wish we had more time."

"it's been a long time since i have this kind of feeling that a fren who i can share life with. i never tot i would find one in malaysia. rest well and safe journey tomorrow. night.

"missing u already bro.."

" seems like more and more things interlink us. i have this very stupid idea. i hope to collaborate with u, working on a song."

"there is nothing such as diferrences or level in music. music is from the heart. and i know we both share one samething from the heart that may lead to a very beautiful song. just say yes my dear. ur talent is really raw andu will be much better than any of us"

"i am sorry, i didn mean anything. but if u need anything just let me know, i will be there."

"i mean i didn mean to put u into this position. i am really sorry. i do realise this somehow. in a way, may be i am just alone without fren to brag. in a way, i know wat you mean and i do feel that too which make me feeling helpless. anyway let;s just dun think about it and we'll be there for each other whenever we need."

"hey, i know whenever u talk to me there is a kinda sour in your voice. my dear dun worry. i will live on. this is too short forme to short for me to know u. i will be ok. for all of u dun feel sad or anything k. i wish everyone i care and love to be happy and well. please be happy ok?"

"dear, just remember, no matterwat is at the end. celebrate my life without tears. hugss.."

"i dun even know how true the feelings we share together, but in many ways, i really know how u feel. love is something to share. dear, i really wanted both of u to be happy. that's all i want. if ever i did something bad to him i just want u to know i have my reasons. nicholas will always be someone i really love in this life. i am willing to do anythingjust to see him smile. and james, if there is a chance in this life or next life. u r an ideal partner to be with and to really love withoutfeeling the insecurity. cause i do feel safe whenever i talk to u. love ya dear~ i gotta delete this if he happens to see this. lol~"

"i feel very painful after saying hurting words to him. bro i felt empty today. had a bad dream. i am kinda not stable on my emotion. feel like i am about to explode. but dun worry i am ok.james, ya words really touched my heart."

"dear, i had a great weekend with ya,even it's only one night, i felt really safe and loved. i will miss ya so much. love ya. thanks for that memmory. no matter where i will be. take good care of urself :)"

"i am missing u now, with a heavy heart. i shall see u soon dear."

"dun day sorry, dun feel guilty,i am feeling the same. i am puzzled myself. will tell ya more soon."

"just feel like giving u a smile to lift up ur mood. just saw ya status and my guess was right. lol. bro... i am running out of energy. i amgoin out alone later. just need a break myself"

“things is ok. but pain is really bad today since last night. een the new medication is not working. but things are fine. i will never forget to smile when you in my mind"

"dun worry dear, i told u i am used to it. i will be ok. i am working usual. i wish i can see ya too. ur voice singing is my oain relief so dun worry k:)"

"dear, i know u sounded kinda frus but just smile. for a great future. no matter where i will be. i will be with ya. hugss"

"everyday when i open my eyes, i will be thinking the suppose of my breath. every moment, every minute, can't seen to take a step forward. life is enduring my breath, love is embracing my heart. lust is defeating itself, nuturing the moment in life. for it's beauty magnifying every hostility... thine our heart, shares, forever thine, forever mine, forever ours~"

" saying... i miss you. the memory with me now is a move i wanna take, to breath every moment in this life. for u for me and forus. smile... hugss"

"i really wish i am able to be there when ya feeling lonely and scared. i wish i am there to share ur dark times and not to walk alone. i will always be there.

"remembering u hold me right. go tomorrow morning light. i hope to find you. when i awoke shining for u and me. all i ever want to be safe and warm, in your arms. all i have from the heart of me. i am always there with u."

"dear, i am telling ya cuz i just trust u k? i dun wish him to know wat i am doin. i am honest with ya. i can sustain everything but i dunno how to sustain our love. i am broken~ but dun worry. it's a good day. i know i will be ok soon. dun forget to smile dear. a great day today~"

"thanks for ya offer but no thanks. i have given up all my pride to love him. let me be and gimme me some pride now. i really have nothing. i just wanna be strong for myself too."

"dark star crashes. pouring its light into ashes. reason tatters the force tears loose from the axis. search light casting for faults in the clouds me delusion. shall we go u and i while we can. thru the transition nightfall of diamond. mirror shatters in formless reflection me matter. glass hand dissolving to ice petals flowers revolving. shall we go, u and i while we can?through... i know we can as our only connection is our heart."

"i really dun know dear. but let my karma show me how it will be. dear... i know for me it's hard too. but life is uncertain, death is certain. we strive to leave samsara. have faith. that's wat i am holding on now dear~"

"for now can we let it be? i dun want u hate urself but i want u happy. for now can we do it dear?"

"and please never say sorry to me. like ya said, love like there is no tomorrow. live today to the fullest. for u for me and for us at least."

"dear, all u have to know is i will always be there whenever u need. i just want u to know no matter what, ur happiness meant a lot to me."

"standing underneath the dark sky. as cloudy as it could be. looking for a bright star. calm breeze crease my skin. a memory thatlies within. u shine like the star which i couldn see~"

"i'm with u, u must be superbly tired. but remember this. forever thine, forevermine, forever ours~"

"i'll be ok, i just hope that one day he would not be ashamed of me as his bf. i dun wan him to accept it now and then. just hope when time comes he is ready i will only officially b his partner in life. give him time. i guess u know when se youngcommented on the status. i will wait and be happy."

"~till now i have been intro to his fren as someone imprtant. anyway it doensn really matter la.i'm ok. just the pain caused me tp think weird things. i really need an attitude adjustment. dear, if i am single and ready,u will always be my choice to be with. "

" so from tomorrow onwards no more thanks and sorry from u k? just come clean with watever you feel. i cherish wat is btw us very much."

" i think nic is due to stress as well, do ask him to go for a stress test or so. he wouldn listen to me. i'm really worried about him. all his mind now is keep trying to make my life wonderful and memorable. i do think he is trying too had.i just hop he will be fine."



...... to be cont in RIC's words 2