a 2nd song by eric carter hah to me
never could have thought that he actually know what and how i feel all this while when he is fighting for survival....
"Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry.
And everything, it will surely change even if
I tell you I won't go away today
will u think that you're all alone
when no one's there to hold ur hand?
and all u know seems so far away
and everything is temporary rest ur head
i'm permanent
i know he's living in hell every single day
and so i ask oh god is there some way for me to take his place
and when they say it's all touch and go
i wish i could make it go away
but still u say
will u think that you're all alone
when no one's there to hold ur hand?
and all u know seems so far away
and everything is temporary rest ur head
i'm permanent
i'm permanent
Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry...
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
分手吧~ 哦~ 分手吧
陈伟华
我们做回朋友吧
也就是说 我放弃了我们之间的感情
给了那么多次机会， 最后还是一次又一次的伤害
分手吧 我不适合你 我不能接受你对感情的价值观
ric 知道的东西 我全都知道 他还有力气去和你争辩， 但我已没力气了， 我不想再这样辛苦地爱着你了
你是我这一辈子里对我撒最多谎的人 而我最痛恨的就是谎言， 而且是出自我爱的人口里 伤害更深
这一阵子 kenji告诉我所有的东西之后， 我什么都没说， 累了， 不想再去想为什么你还是要这样， 我只想好好过自己的生活， 照顾ric。 就这样。而且希望你能找份好工作， 所以到现在才提出分手。
与其整天在烦kenji几时才肯放过你， 何不自己洁身自爱， 坦荡荡做人， 哪怕人家重伤你。你停下来的时候， 就是kenji 消失的时候。至于谁是kenji ，你比谁都要清楚，它是一个曾经被你伤得很深的人。
不要再说我答应过什么， 我为你的付出已经远远超过你应得的！！！
不要再说你有多难过多委屈多痛苦， 那是你自己拿来的。别尝试和我讲道理， 只怕我现在一肚子的气爆发在你身上。
我跟你之间的感情， 今天就划上句号。
至于你和ric之间感情， 那是你们之间的事。不关我的事
来了新之后， 好好加油， 从新开始。
我们还是朋友，要是你还想要我这个朋友的话。
得空见面， 喝个茶无妨：）
珍重
占姆士
我们做回朋友吧
也就是说 我放弃了我们之间的感情
给了那么多次机会， 最后还是一次又一次的伤害
分手吧 我不适合你 我不能接受你对感情的价值观
ric 知道的东西 我全都知道 他还有力气去和你争辩， 但我已没力气了， 我不想再这样辛苦地爱着你了
你是我这一辈子里对我撒最多谎的人 而我最痛恨的就是谎言， 而且是出自我爱的人口里 伤害更深
这一阵子 kenji告诉我所有的东西之后， 我什么都没说， 累了， 不想再去想为什么你还是要这样， 我只想好好过自己的生活， 照顾ric。 就这样。而且希望你能找份好工作， 所以到现在才提出分手。
与其整天在烦kenji几时才肯放过你， 何不自己洁身自爱， 坦荡荡做人， 哪怕人家重伤你。你停下来的时候， 就是kenji 消失的时候。至于谁是kenji ，你比谁都要清楚，它是一个曾经被你伤得很深的人。
不要再说我答应过什么， 我为你的付出已经远远超过你应得的！！！
不要再说你有多难过多委屈多痛苦， 那是你自己拿来的。别尝试和我讲道理， 只怕我现在一肚子的气爆发在你身上。
我跟你之间的感情， 今天就划上句号。
至于你和ric之间感情， 那是你们之间的事。不关我的事
来了新之后， 好好加油， 从新开始。
我们还是朋友，要是你还想要我这个朋友的话。
得空见面， 喝个茶无妨：）
珍重
占姆士
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
RIC's words II
"nic didn go to see doctor cause of limited funds. i am collecting some debts my fren owe me. if she unable to pay back i may need to loan some from u 1st. i will be able to pay ya back on the first of august when i get paid. just need bout 200 bucks or less. i dun wan him 2 stress up for it. it's theleast i can do. out of ways now."
"watever! anyway dear. it's beyond the words i can say. 我是你的人了！哈哈~ anyway dear... u know~ i am so late.bus isn't here yet. i am walking out to old klang road now. tired~"
"i still wanna work k so dun curse me la dear~ i am gonna have an angel tattoo. cuz ya my angel~LOL gonna be busy drawingtoday"
"i will always be there no matter where i may be~"
"i really miss ya dear... really..."
"morning dear, sukhihontu- may the triple gems be with u. namo porte sa-to akhante maya i-te bagha wa~ happy new moon~"
"must be a busy day for ya, just wanna tell ya i'm missing ya. huggs~"
"honestly i am not well today, pain is unusual.... but still ok here..."
"why always make me cry de dear...?"
"dear... it's really touching to hear that. that's actually why i wanna have taht angel on me. cuz ya too. why are our mentality wave so alike? and ya mouth sweet till~~~haha. but i know. it's from ur heart~"
"no. you did not. at least i am not in a grey zone too. i even will cherish wat we have now. even more. iam glad that u told me. i really am."
"hugs~u never fail to put a smile on my face."
"dear, my pain is terrible. i wish to talk to ya. but i cant talk properly. dun worry bout me k? ya rest well k? i promise tofight to the end for ya."
"T.T dear... if this continue how would i tel u next time when i am in pain? i promise i will be ok. and i will be. i dun promise. just like u. i am playing with gene now."
"dear, i am not leaving u, that was my initial plan. ya know how hard is it for me today? do ya know how much i wanna be by ur sidenow? how much i am struggling inside? i cam't deny, i love ya now. i love nicholas too. ya know what happen when benny call? i know ya not happy, i am not happy too dear. i am really not. i dun know what is going to happen. but seriously i hate my life now. every part of it"
"good night :) i hope everyday. i do wish to spend that time with ya too. i love you~ hug~"
to be cont~
"watever! anyway dear. it's beyond the words i can say. 我是你的人了！哈哈~ anyway dear... u know~ i am so late.bus isn't here yet. i am walking out to old klang road now. tired~"
"i still wanna work k so dun curse me la dear~ i am gonna have an angel tattoo. cuz ya my angel~LOL gonna be busy drawingtoday"
"i will always be there no matter where i may be~"
"i really miss ya dear... really..."
"morning dear, sukhihontu- may the triple gems be with u. namo porte sa-to akhante maya i-te bagha wa~ happy new moon~"
"must be a busy day for ya, just wanna tell ya i'm missing ya. huggs~"
"honestly i am not well today, pain is unusual.... but still ok here..."
"why always make me cry de dear...?"
"dear... it's really touching to hear that. that's actually why i wanna have taht angel on me. cuz ya too. why are our mentality wave so alike? and ya mouth sweet till~~~haha. but i know. it's from ur heart~"
"no. you did not. at least i am not in a grey zone too. i even will cherish wat we have now. even more. iam glad that u told me. i really am."
"hugs~u never fail to put a smile on my face."
"dear, my pain is terrible. i wish to talk to ya. but i cant talk properly. dun worry bout me k? ya rest well k? i promise tofight to the end for ya."
"T.T dear... if this continue how would i tel u next time when i am in pain? i promise i will be ok. and i will be. i dun promise. just like u. i am playing with gene now."
"dear, i am not leaving u, that was my initial plan. ya know how hard is it for me today? do ya know how much i wanna be by ur sidenow? how much i am struggling inside? i cam't deny, i love ya now. i love nicholas too. ya know what happen when benny call? i know ya not happy, i am not happy too dear. i am really not. i dun know what is going to happen. but seriously i hate my life now. every part of it"
"good night :) i hope everyday. i do wish to spend that time with ya too. i love you~ hug~"
to be cont~
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
a song... for me
I never knew i could feel like this
like i've never seen the sky before
when u sing out this song
u are my heavenly bliss
everyday i'll love u more and more
will i begin to live again
the pain in my heart hurts so steadily
but all is gone when i see you smile
baby i love u till the end of time
if there is a place i wanna be
i'm always by ur side
holding u close to me
and let our love soar so high
why do i feel so weak
u have got me into deep
u r living in my dream
and i always know u got me where u want me
i've been feeling lost
cant find the words to say
spending all my time
stuck in yesterday
where u are is where i wanna be
oh next to u.... and u next to me
by eric carter hah
like i've never seen the sky before
when u sing out this song
u are my heavenly bliss
everyday i'll love u more and more
will i begin to live again
the pain in my heart hurts so steadily
but all is gone when i see you smile
baby i love u till the end of time
if there is a place i wanna be
i'm always by ur side
holding u close to me
and let our love soar so high
why do i feel so weak
u have got me into deep
u r living in my dream
and i always know u got me where u want me
i've been feeling lost
cant find the words to say
spending all my time
stuck in yesterday
where u are is where i wanna be
oh next to u.... and u next to me
by eric carter hah
Thursday, July 23, 2009
julie 7
Dear James,
life here is ok. things are so different being a consultant and a sister in OT. much easier job but different. trying to get use to it. but in other words its ok.
I'm not surprise to get a long reply from you. it is no right and wrong being in love. remember what is the buddha's teaching. compassion. to give to share. that is what makes our will to live and to learn. we are born to suffer. but in what way you see it? everyone is meant to learn. in buddhism, we learn not blindly but from daily life. don't feel lost. you say that you are complete now. so use this as your weapon to sharpen your goal to leave samsara. have faith in yourself. it is not wrong. I know eric knows what's best for both of you. have faith. let time unfold the answers. it's our karma that bring all of you together. let the fruit ripen itself. don't think you are lost. you're not. just a state of confusion. give it time alright?
as for the insurance. I think all of us should see what is eric trying to do. don't worry about it. give nicholas a chance to learn as well. I think no matter what he will learn something. I just hope he would just not live with regret. I now am having faith in eric and his choices. I do not want to know what those email meant anymore. I think he is big enough to handle everything. I know I'll be there if ever he is hurt and sad. I'm still receiving those emails and I do not bother to read it anymore.
james, to love is always this way. you will feel nothing but the person you love. there is no more "myself" there. it is a great thing to love. a giver and a receiver is different in so many ways. pro and con. this is life. I know what is your purpose in life. we all know ourselves. I'll always be here if you need anyone to talk. I do hope to hear from you again.
love
julie.
life here is ok. things are so different being a consultant and a sister in OT. much easier job but different. trying to get use to it. but in other words its ok.
I'm not surprise to get a long reply from you. it is no right and wrong being in love. remember what is the buddha's teaching. compassion. to give to share. that is what makes our will to live and to learn. we are born to suffer. but in what way you see it? everyone is meant to learn. in buddhism, we learn not blindly but from daily life. don't feel lost. you say that you are complete now. so use this as your weapon to sharpen your goal to leave samsara. have faith in yourself. it is not wrong. I know eric knows what's best for both of you. have faith. let time unfold the answers. it's our karma that bring all of you together. let the fruit ripen itself. don't think you are lost. you're not. just a state of confusion. give it time alright?
as for the insurance. I think all of us should see what is eric trying to do. don't worry about it. give nicholas a chance to learn as well. I think no matter what he will learn something. I just hope he would just not live with regret. I now am having faith in eric and his choices. I do not want to know what those email meant anymore. I think he is big enough to handle everything. I know I'll be there if ever he is hurt and sad. I'm still receiving those emails and I do not bother to read it anymore.
james, to love is always this way. you will feel nothing but the person you love. there is no more "myself" there. it is a great thing to love. a giver and a receiver is different in so many ways. pro and con. this is life. I know what is your purpose in life. we all know ourselves. I'll always be here if you need anyone to talk. I do hope to hear from you again.
love
julie.
a confession to julie
dear julie,
how r u? how's life goin?
life is like riding a roller coaster here
all these while has been thinking of writing u and asking for advice but, just cant stop and think properly.
julie... a lot of things had happened. should or shouldn... i am lost sometimes, i dun know.
have been following my heart all these while, let my feeling go wild and wild, do watever i think i should do and want to do.
i am closer and closer to ric now... and i found that i am more and more attached to him, which i think i shouldn. i made myself very clear that i just wan him to be happy, no matter wat he decide to do.
he is a gift in my life
he taught me how to love someone, love can be so selfless and unconditioned and brave...
i realise that all these while when i was with nic, i was kind of afraid to give, because i was so afraid to be hurt at the end.
love is never a shame.... his thinking and actions told me that
i slept with him that night, nic was not around, i mean we only sleep on the same bed (dun get me wrong). that was a very long talk. in the middle of the night, i saw him in great pain, shivering. trying to hide the pain from my notice. suddenly~ i think my mind changed, my life changed, everything after that changed. i have changed, becoming a better person i guess. i know how hard he is goin tru all these while, and i realise how hard nicholas has been coping with the feeling of helplessness and frustration. nic couldn do anything, so do i, i am so helpless that moment. my tears no longer stay in my eye. i just hold him very very tightly, let him feel my grip and heartbeat. and " i'm here ric, u r not alone, let's go thru this together" this is the message that i convey, and i think this is the best thing that i can do.
on the day i returned to singapore after visiting him, i told him that i am in love with him, and i make myself very clear that my love to him is unconditioned, purely one way. i dun wan anything from him,i dun wan any return. i just wanna be as brave as him, to live to love, to live to give, and to live to share. i dun know how real my feeling is... i just follow my heart. i really wish that he could live and be with nicholas, happily ever after, and i will walk away, leaving all my blessings behind to 2 people that i've ever love in my life.
i have him julie, in my heart. i am completed.
one day he told me that he left nicholas all his life insurance money, and he wanted me to manage the fund. i was kind of in shock.
i dun know the money will help nicholas or ruin him at the end. i am worried. his banker is drafting a policy to make everything under control, but i still feel that will bring more harm than help in nic's life.
nic is kind of person that has no strong moral or religion stand. desire can be overwhelming, overriding all the values we keep.and discipline is a big issue for him.
that is why i am worry.
nic does not need those money for living i guess. i will take care of him for the rest of my life.
i talked to him regarding my worries, he noted. i really dun know how it'll turn up. hopefully everything will be fine.
i dun think about future now, cause we r having "now", i just wanna have faith : )
there are coming singapore to visit me this weekend. we r goin to zoo and having his favourite cheesy fries:)
and we r goin to get a tattoo together in august during my convocation break.
there is hope everyday, there is love everyday, there is sharing everyday, and there is no secret for even a single second. this is my life now julie. and it keep me moving : )
julie, thanks for everything. i dun know why i say so but, i am so thankful, for having him in my life.
hope to hear from u soon
loves,
james
how r u? how's life goin?
life is like riding a roller coaster here
all these while has been thinking of writing u and asking for advice but, just cant stop and think properly.
julie... a lot of things had happened. should or shouldn... i am lost sometimes, i dun know.
have been following my heart all these while, let my feeling go wild and wild, do watever i think i should do and want to do.
i am closer and closer to ric now... and i found that i am more and more attached to him, which i think i shouldn. i made myself very clear that i just wan him to be happy, no matter wat he decide to do.
he is a gift in my life
he taught me how to love someone, love can be so selfless and unconditioned and brave...
i realise that all these while when i was with nic, i was kind of afraid to give, because i was so afraid to be hurt at the end.
love is never a shame.... his thinking and actions told me that
i slept with him that night, nic was not around, i mean we only sleep on the same bed (dun get me wrong). that was a very long talk. in the middle of the night, i saw him in great pain, shivering. trying to hide the pain from my notice. suddenly~ i think my mind changed, my life changed, everything after that changed. i have changed, becoming a better person i guess. i know how hard he is goin tru all these while, and i realise how hard nicholas has been coping with the feeling of helplessness and frustration. nic couldn do anything, so do i, i am so helpless that moment. my tears no longer stay in my eye. i just hold him very very tightly, let him feel my grip and heartbeat. and " i'm here ric, u r not alone, let's go thru this together" this is the message that i convey, and i think this is the best thing that i can do.
on the day i returned to singapore after visiting him, i told him that i am in love with him, and i make myself very clear that my love to him is unconditioned, purely one way. i dun wan anything from him,i dun wan any return. i just wanna be as brave as him, to live to love, to live to give, and to live to share. i dun know how real my feeling is... i just follow my heart. i really wish that he could live and be with nicholas, happily ever after, and i will walk away, leaving all my blessings behind to 2 people that i've ever love in my life.
i have him julie, in my heart. i am completed.
one day he told me that he left nicholas all his life insurance money, and he wanted me to manage the fund. i was kind of in shock.
i dun know the money will help nicholas or ruin him at the end. i am worried. his banker is drafting a policy to make everything under control, but i still feel that will bring more harm than help in nic's life.
nic is kind of person that has no strong moral or religion stand. desire can be overwhelming, overriding all the values we keep.and discipline is a big issue for him.
that is why i am worry.
nic does not need those money for living i guess. i will take care of him for the rest of my life.
i talked to him regarding my worries, he noted. i really dun know how it'll turn up. hopefully everything will be fine.
i dun think about future now, cause we r having "now", i just wanna have faith : )
there are coming singapore to visit me this weekend. we r goin to zoo and having his favourite cheesy fries:)
and we r goin to get a tattoo together in august during my convocation break.
there is hope everyday, there is love everyday, there is sharing everyday, and there is no secret for even a single second. this is my life now julie. and it keep me moving : )
julie, thanks for everything. i dun know why i say so but, i am so thankful, for having him in my life.
hope to hear from u soon
loves,
james
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
RIC's words
"dear james. i really do wanted to go up and say hi and wish u happy bday yesterday. but at a point there is reallywill be awkward for both of u and nic. no matterwat it is i cant promise u how long i can handle this but like i told u b4, i will do wat i am supposed to and everything will be back to point one. no matter wat i really wish u well and happy birthday"
"no matter wat i will make everything in place at well for him b4 i walk out. dun worry. ths i would promise u. everything in his life would be well when the days comes. in all aspects. there won't be anything that he need to worry anymore."
"james, it's not about moving on or not. no matter how it really will feel unless u call urself not human.u wan me to be happy. i wan u to be happy too. i hope u understand my stand for u. i really we both can be happy from the inner self. i know we can do it"
" a great morning to a busy u, keep on smiling"
"another beautiful day, surely you got tired but gonna be back home. smile my dear fren"
"i do not know how can i really express my gratitude and emotions that spending time talking and sharing ideas. will miss u a lot bro... from my heart. i am glad to know u. really wish we had more time."
"it's been a long time since i have this kind of feeling that a fren who i can share life with. i never tot i would find one in malaysia. rest well and safe journey tomorrow. night.
"missing u already bro.."
" seems like more and more things interlink us. i have this very stupid idea. i hope to collaborate with u, working on a song."
"there is nothing such as diferrences or level in music. music is from the heart. and i know we both share one samething from the heart that may lead to a very beautiful song. just say yes my dear. ur talent is really raw andu will be much better than any of us"
"i am sorry, i didn mean anything. but if u need anything just let me know, i will be there."
"i mean i didn mean to put u into this position. i am really sorry. i do realise this somehow. in a way, may be i am just alone without fren to brag. in a way, i know wat you mean and i do feel that too which make me feeling helpless. anyway let;s just dun think about it and we'll be there for each other whenever we need."
"hey, i know whenever u talk to me there is a kinda sour in your voice. my dear dun worry. i will live on. this is too short forme to short for me to know u. i will be ok. for all of u dun feel sad or anything k. i wish everyone i care and love to be happy and well. please be happy ok?"
"dear, just remember, no matterwat is at the end. celebrate my life without tears. hugss.."
"i dun even know how true the feelings we share together, but in many ways, i really know how u feel. love is something to share. dear, i really wanted both of u to be happy. that's all i want. if ever i did something bad to him i just want u to know i have my reasons. nicholas will always be someone i really love in this life. i am willing to do anythingjust to see him smile. and james, if there is a chance in this life or next life. u r an ideal partner to be with and to really love withoutfeeling the insecurity. cause i do feel safe whenever i talk to u. love ya dear~ i gotta delete this if he happens to see this. lol~"
"i feel very painful after saying hurting words to him. bro i felt empty today. had a bad dream. i am kinda not stable on my emotion. feel like i am about to explode. but dun worry i am ok.james, ya words really touched my heart."
"dear, i had a great weekend with ya,even it's only one night, i felt really safe and loved. i will miss ya so much. love ya. thanks for that memmory. no matter where i will be. take good care of urself :)"
"i am missing u now, with a heavy heart. i shall see u soon dear."
"dun day sorry, dun feel guilty,i am feeling the same. i am puzzled myself. will tell ya more soon."
"just feel like giving u a smile to lift up ur mood. just saw ya status and my guess was right. lol. bro... i am running out of energy. i amgoin out alone later. just need a break myself"
“things is ok. but pain is really bad today since last night. een the new medication is not working. but things are fine. i will never forget to smile when you in my mind"
"dun worry dear, i told u i am used to it. i will be ok. i am working usual. i wish i can see ya too. ur voice singing is my oain relief so dun worry k:)"
"dear, i know u sounded kinda frus but just smile. for a great future. no matter where i will be. i will be with ya. hugss"
"everyday when i open my eyes, i will be thinking the suppose of my breath. every moment, every minute, can't seen to take a step forward. life is enduring my breath, love is embracing my heart. lust is defeating itself, nuturing the moment in life. for it's beauty magnifying every hostility... thine our heart, shares, forever thine, forever mine, forever ours~"
" saying... i miss you. the memory with me now is a move i wanna take, to breath every moment in this life. for u for me and forus. smile... hugss"
"i really wish i am able to be there when ya feeling lonely and scared. i wish i am there to share ur dark times and not to walk alone. i will always be there.
"remembering u hold me right. go tomorrow morning light. i hope to find you. when i awoke shining for u and me. all i ever want to be safe and warm, in your arms. all i have from the heart of me. i am always there with u."
"dear, i am telling ya cuz i just trust u k? i dun wish him to know wat i am doin. i am honest with ya. i can sustain everything but i dunno how to sustain our love. i am broken~ but dun worry. it's a good day. i know i will be ok soon. dun forget to smile dear. a great day today~"
"thanks for ya offer but no thanks. i have given up all my pride to love him. let me be and gimme me some pride now. i really have nothing. i just wanna be strong for myself too."
"dark star crashes. pouring its light into ashes. reason tatters the force tears loose from the axis. search light casting for faults in the clouds me delusion. shall we go u and i while we can. thru the transition nightfall of diamond. mirror shatters in formless reflection me matter. glass hand dissolving to ice petals flowers revolving. shall we go, u and i while we can?through... i know we can as our only connection is our heart."
"i really dun know dear. but let my karma show me how it will be. dear... i know for me it's hard too. but life is uncertain, death is certain. we strive to leave samsara. have faith. that's wat i am holding on now dear~"
"for now can we let it be? i dun want u hate urself but i want u happy. for now can we do it dear?"
"and please never say sorry to me. like ya said, love like there is no tomorrow. live today to the fullest. for u for me and for us at least."
"dear, all u have to know is i will always be there whenever u need. i just want u to know no matter what, ur happiness meant a lot to me."
"standing underneath the dark sky. as cloudy as it could be. looking for a bright star. calm breeze crease my skin. a memory thatlies within. u shine like the star which i couldn see~"
"i'm with u, u must be superbly tired. but remember this. forever thine, forevermine, forever ours~"
"i'll be ok, i just hope that one day he would not be ashamed of me as his bf. i dun wan him to accept it now and then. just hope when time comes he is ready i will only officially b his partner in life. give him time. i guess u know when se youngcommented on the status. i will wait and be happy."
"~till now i have been intro to his fren as someone imprtant. anyway it doensn really matter la.i'm ok. just the pain caused me tp think weird things. i really need an attitude adjustment. dear, if i am single and ready,u will always be my choice to be with. "
" so from tomorrow onwards no more thanks and sorry from u k? just come clean with watever you feel. i cherish wat is btw us very much."
" i think nic is due to stress as well, do ask him to go for a stress test or so. he wouldn listen to me. i'm really worried about him. all his mind now is keep trying to make my life wonderful and memorable. i do think he is trying too had.i just hop he will be fine."
...... to be cont in RIC's words 2
"no matter wat i will make everything in place at well for him b4 i walk out. dun worry. ths i would promise u. everything in his life would be well when the days comes. in all aspects. there won't be anything that he need to worry anymore."
"james, it's not about moving on or not. no matter how it really will feel unless u call urself not human.u wan me to be happy. i wan u to be happy too. i hope u understand my stand for u. i really we both can be happy from the inner self. i know we can do it"
" a great morning to a busy u, keep on smiling"
"another beautiful day, surely you got tired but gonna be back home. smile my dear fren"
"i do not know how can i really express my gratitude and emotions that spending time talking and sharing ideas. will miss u a lot bro... from my heart. i am glad to know u. really wish we had more time."
"it's been a long time since i have this kind of feeling that a fren who i can share life with. i never tot i would find one in malaysia. rest well and safe journey tomorrow. night.
"missing u already bro.."
" seems like more and more things interlink us. i have this very stupid idea. i hope to collaborate with u, working on a song."
"there is nothing such as diferrences or level in music. music is from the heart. and i know we both share one samething from the heart that may lead to a very beautiful song. just say yes my dear. ur talent is really raw andu will be much better than any of us"
"i am sorry, i didn mean anything. but if u need anything just let me know, i will be there."
"i mean i didn mean to put u into this position. i am really sorry. i do realise this somehow. in a way, may be i am just alone without fren to brag. in a way, i know wat you mean and i do feel that too which make me feeling helpless. anyway let;s just dun think about it and we'll be there for each other whenever we need."
"hey, i know whenever u talk to me there is a kinda sour in your voice. my dear dun worry. i will live on. this is too short forme to short for me to know u. i will be ok. for all of u dun feel sad or anything k. i wish everyone i care and love to be happy and well. please be happy ok?"
"dear, just remember, no matterwat is at the end. celebrate my life without tears. hugss.."
"i dun even know how true the feelings we share together, but in many ways, i really know how u feel. love is something to share. dear, i really wanted both of u to be happy. that's all i want. if ever i did something bad to him i just want u to know i have my reasons. nicholas will always be someone i really love in this life. i am willing to do anythingjust to see him smile. and james, if there is a chance in this life or next life. u r an ideal partner to be with and to really love withoutfeeling the insecurity. cause i do feel safe whenever i talk to u. love ya dear~ i gotta delete this if he happens to see this. lol~"
"i feel very painful after saying hurting words to him. bro i felt empty today. had a bad dream. i am kinda not stable on my emotion. feel like i am about to explode. but dun worry i am ok.james, ya words really touched my heart."
"dear, i had a great weekend with ya,even it's only one night, i felt really safe and loved. i will miss ya so much. love ya. thanks for that memmory. no matter where i will be. take good care of urself :)"
"i am missing u now, with a heavy heart. i shall see u soon dear."
"dun day sorry, dun feel guilty,i am feeling the same. i am puzzled myself. will tell ya more soon."
"just feel like giving u a smile to lift up ur mood. just saw ya status and my guess was right. lol. bro... i am running out of energy. i amgoin out alone later. just need a break myself"
“things is ok. but pain is really bad today since last night. een the new medication is not working. but things are fine. i will never forget to smile when you in my mind"
"dun worry dear, i told u i am used to it. i will be ok. i am working usual. i wish i can see ya too. ur voice singing is my oain relief so dun worry k:)"
"dear, i know u sounded kinda frus but just smile. for a great future. no matter where i will be. i will be with ya. hugss"
"everyday when i open my eyes, i will be thinking the suppose of my breath. every moment, every minute, can't seen to take a step forward. life is enduring my breath, love is embracing my heart. lust is defeating itself, nuturing the moment in life. for it's beauty magnifying every hostility... thine our heart, shares, forever thine, forever mine, forever ours~"
" saying... i miss you. the memory with me now is a move i wanna take, to breath every moment in this life. for u for me and forus. smile... hugss"
"i really wish i am able to be there when ya feeling lonely and scared. i wish i am there to share ur dark times and not to walk alone. i will always be there.
"remembering u hold me right. go tomorrow morning light. i hope to find you. when i awoke shining for u and me. all i ever want to be safe and warm, in your arms. all i have from the heart of me. i am always there with u."
"dear, i am telling ya cuz i just trust u k? i dun wish him to know wat i am doin. i am honest with ya. i can sustain everything but i dunno how to sustain our love. i am broken~ but dun worry. it's a good day. i know i will be ok soon. dun forget to smile dear. a great day today~"
"thanks for ya offer but no thanks. i have given up all my pride to love him. let me be and gimme me some pride now. i really have nothing. i just wanna be strong for myself too."
"dark star crashes. pouring its light into ashes. reason tatters the force tears loose from the axis. search light casting for faults in the clouds me delusion. shall we go u and i while we can. thru the transition nightfall of diamond. mirror shatters in formless reflection me matter. glass hand dissolving to ice petals flowers revolving. shall we go, u and i while we can?through... i know we can as our only connection is our heart."
"i really dun know dear. but let my karma show me how it will be. dear... i know for me it's hard too. but life is uncertain, death is certain. we strive to leave samsara. have faith. that's wat i am holding on now dear~"
"for now can we let it be? i dun want u hate urself but i want u happy. for now can we do it dear?"
"and please never say sorry to me. like ya said, love like there is no tomorrow. live today to the fullest. for u for me and for us at least."
"dear, all u have to know is i will always be there whenever u need. i just want u to know no matter what, ur happiness meant a lot to me."
"standing underneath the dark sky. as cloudy as it could be. looking for a bright star. calm breeze crease my skin. a memory thatlies within. u shine like the star which i couldn see~"
"i'm with u, u must be superbly tired. but remember this. forever thine, forevermine, forever ours~"
"i'll be ok, i just hope that one day he would not be ashamed of me as his bf. i dun wan him to accept it now and then. just hope when time comes he is ready i will only officially b his partner in life. give him time. i guess u know when se youngcommented on the status. i will wait and be happy."
"~till now i have been intro to his fren as someone imprtant. anyway it doensn really matter la.i'm ok. just the pain caused me tp think weird things. i really need an attitude adjustment. dear, if i am single and ready,u will always be my choice to be with. "
" so from tomorrow onwards no more thanks and sorry from u k? just come clean with watever you feel. i cherish wat is btw us very much."
" i think nic is due to stress as well, do ask him to go for a stress test or so. he wouldn listen to me. i'm really worried about him. all his mind now is keep trying to make my life wonderful and memorable. i do think he is trying too had.i just hop he will be fine."
...... to be cont in RIC's words 2
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
